Sex Detective vs Friends With Benefits

A couple days ago I asked some of my peeps to throw the Sex Detective some questions to answer.  I will endeavour to address each question with a concise post, with the possible exception of my friend Fiona's request which simply read "cheese".  Sorry, Fi, but I can't really help.  Unless you're referring to 'sex-cheese', in which case I now feel nauseous.

Anyway, here's my first repsonse, this one to a cute little redhead in Scotland.

What about whether a "friends with benefits" relationship is ever worth it!   

Short Answer
An FWB is not something you have instead of a worthwhile relationship, it is something you do until you have a worthwhile relationship.

Long Answer
'FWBs', 'fuck buddies', 'that-chick-I-sometimes-put-my-dick-in', whatever term you want to apply to the classic Casual Relationship it usually boils down to the same thing. Two people who previously share some form of social familiarity decide to engage in an informal, sex-based pattern without official committment. As usual, some peers will think this an outrageous, morally indignant idea, while others who are already happy with their lives don't really give a shit. We're all adults here, which means we reserve the right to fuck up our lives as much as the next person.
Why it rocks
Sexual convenience has a lot to offer. You can get your horny needs met without all the other trappings of a formal, sex-based relationship. You can technically fuck other people (your secretary, accountant, wife, etc) without feeling too guilty about it because there is no declared relational ownership made by either party. It's a genital win/win scenario, provided you avoid any real emotional investment, jealousy and exploitation issues within the dynamic.

Why it sucks
The emotional investment, jealousy and exploitation within the dynamic.

You can generate all the denial you want, but it won't save you from human nature. The statistical chance that both parties have the exact (50/50) amount of emotional investment or detachment in any sex-based relationship is remote, even if they have outwardly agreed otherwise. Humans agree to all sorts of shit they don't really mean. Most are pussies who will say anything to avoid sleeping alone every night.

And as for jealousy, well, next time your fuck buddy gives you a booty call, inform them that you're too busy fucking another FWB. I mean, you're just friends, right? You're allowed to have as many friends as you want. Fuckable or otherwise. What's that? They sounded upset when you told them? That's strange, most friends would be happy that you're getting some decent action, surely?

Exploitation is all well and fine provided it's mutually beneficial. FWB relationships are a great way to relieve physical tension and kill time until someone actually attractive comes into your life. And don't try to sell me that shit about "I'm doing the fuck buddy thing because I never want a real relationship." No one under the age of 50 is immune to the infatuation + lust + love = romantic relationship equation. How many people have you been with who have declared they're not into relationships, only to get attached or even married later on? If the answer is equal to or more than one, then I win, suckers. It's not that they don't want to commit, they just don't want to commit with you.

Conclusion
FWB deals work out fine as a temporary arrangement for heaps of people every day. But they can also end disastrously for those who don't make clear and authentic agreements about the non-relationship they they're not having. And the moment you start developing deeper feelings or a sense of attachment to your sex friend you better fess up quick because if you don't then sooner or later you will look like a fucking idiot.