Children's television, Hamas style

For anyone who isn't familiar with Hamas, it's an independent Palestinian socio-political and militant organisation who, despite public claims of not being anti-semetic, is a little pissy about the state of Israel.  You can occasionally pick up on their dissatisfaction by all the stuff they do that involves wanting to kill Jews in general, and Israeli Jews in particular.  That's not to say they don't do a lot of positive community work in the Gaza strip, but, you know, they're really... intense about the Jew thing.  Pointed, in fact.  So much so, that they are officially considered a terrorist organisation by most of the Western world.

But I'm not here to debate decades of who stole what from who, or how feuding with attack choppers and human bombs isn't necessarily the best way to resolve this issue.  No, I'm much more concerned about their Al-Aqsa TV station, and their clearly insane kiddies' show, Tomorrow's Pioneers.  It's broadly based on kiddy shows you see here all the time - kiddy hosts and colourful mascot-dressed characters.  I don't know if you would call their overtly Western format ironic, but I do know that they endeavour to educate Palestinian children in cultural values.  Such as bomb strapping for toddlers and 3rd grader AK-47 maintenance.  And today you get to meet a legacy of three cutely designed animal characters that featured consecutively on this show between 2007 and 2009.  Note that when this show 'kills off' a character in order to replace it they do NOT fuck around.

Farfour the Pussy Mouse
Once you watch this vid you will realise that Tomorrow's Pioneers did not just rip-off Mickey (even the voice), they did so to send a giant 'fuck you' to Disney.



You may not fully comprehend what just happened, so let me break it down.  This is a real show, not a parody, spoof, or satirical production.  You just watched a giant cartoon mouse guy try to fulfill his human grandfather's dying wish, only to be beaten to death by a Mossad real-estate agent.  We also have a pre-teen host girl telling the young audience that not only should they kill Jews, but that death is preferable to not killing Jews.  I repeat, this is an actual kid's show that has clocked up hundreds of episodes.  It's target audience is 3-10 year olds.  You need to think on that, people, to really understand how screwed the Gaza Strip issue is.

Nahoul the Retarded Bumble Bee
The whining-death-by-beating sacrifice of Farfour opened the way for a new man-in-a-bad-costume character called Nahoul.  He's meant to be a bee for some reason, and he's kind of a dick.



So, apparently Palestinian zoos have a caged enclosure for the rare felinus domesticus, a cage easily accessible by a giant Asperger's insect whose first urge is to torture sleeping cats.  Not content with tormenting moggies, Narhoul moves onto larger cats, chucking rocks at very pissed off lions.  Ah, but then comes the kicker.  We learn that this was actually an educational video showing kids how to learn from mistakes.  Kids!  Don't forget to stop fucking around with zoo animals!  Also, kill some more Jews!

Assoud the Bugs Bunny
You'll be happy to know that Narhoul the cat bullying bee dies, despite all the brief and clumsy efforts to revive him.  His death is also the fault of dirty, Zionist Israelis, I guess.  But this tragedy spawns another hero dedicated to propogating child hate crimes.



That's right, kids, make way for Assoud.  He's a rabbit with human parents and a dead bumble-bee for a brother.  Obviously.  So it only makes sense that his name - 'Assoud' - is Arabic for 'lion'.  A caller even quizzes him on this discrepancy, and I fucking dare any of you to explain his "I'm-not-a-coward-rabbit-even-though-I'm-clearly-a-rabbit-costume" reply.  Anyway, Lion the Rabbit is all snarky and shit when he learns that his brother the bee died because Israel didn't let a giant bug get medical treatment in Egypt.  Well, it looks like you fucked up for the last time, Israel, because now a giant, pink bunny is going to go on a rampage and eat some Jews.  That's right, carnivorous death threats from a dude dressed as a rabbit claiming to be a lion.

Jew Eating: you know it makes sense.

So there you have it, cartoonish martyrdom role-models for kids.  Apparently bunny boy also bites it somehow and now Tomorrow's Pioneers have a jihad bear filling in for the insanity, possibly because the producers realised that a bear is a far more terrifying creature than, say, a mouse, a rabbit or a fucking bumble-bee with Down Syndrome.  Unless it looks like this...