1. Only give your opinion if you are expressly asked for it
The odds of you knowing the full story and nature of someone else's relationship are highly unlikely. You don't live with these people 24 hours a day, you're not privy to their darkest secrets or most intimate feelings. You don't know their entire biography, their deepest fears and covert dreams. If a friend or relation expresses hassles in their love life, they're looking to vent and use you as sounding board, which is only fair given all the times you whinged to them about shit. If they ask your advice, give it, but know that it is only advice. And that it is only yours. Speak your piece then shut the fuck up. In this capacity you are a consultant, not a bodyguard. Your pissy friend or relation is an adult, which means it's up to them to find the balls to help themselves. The best you can do for them is lead by example, not talk endless trash the scutter back to the shadows like a cockroach. So, only help those who ask for help, leave the rest alone.
2. Your opinions are a projection of yourself
I don't know if anyone else has noticed this, but happy people seem less likely to rag on others. That's because they're too busy being happy, making money, having amazing sex and not letting others meddle in their shit. Unhappy people, especially those who have failed miserably in the relationship department by getting stuck in a shit-boring sham of a marriage, or constantly dating losers, are far more likely to start flinging crap at others. They live to spread their cynicism, doubts and conspiracies because, well, they don't know how to make their own lives work properly. Just because you don't have the guts to find and fight for love, don't try pulling others down into your masturbatory self-loathing. Projecting self-pity just tells me that you deserve to be alone, preferably in a basement full of rape-beetles. And if that sounds cruel, it's nothing compared to the cruelty of trying to molest or sabotage another adult's romantic life.
3. Allow people to make their own mistakes in love
People fuck up all the time, but as functional adult human beings we reserve the right to do so. See, many folks hate this rule, especially parents (regardless of how old their offspring is). They're hard-wired to want their kids to be happy, but here's the conditional clause: only if it fits in with their version of happiness. Your parents are always going to try to tell you how to live your life - and, sure, they often have worthy knowledge to impart - but they don't actually get a vote when it comes down to who you fuck or marry. Not in a free, democratic, Western society anyway. If they did you might as well bring back arranged marriages, feudal serfdom and child slavery. No, the only people who get to decide on a serious relationship are the couple who have to directly live with that choice.
Vicarious co-dependence is a bad habit that some families can't seem to shake. Sometimes an intervention is required. Sometimes couples have to elope instead. I know that not having your family on your side when you hook up with the partner of your dreams can be a hassle, but choosing to be a slave to their controlling whims means that you're simply not mature enough yet - regardless of age - to have a successful relationship anyway. Remember that these are the same parents who chose your horrible clothing and gave you bowl haircuts when you were 3. You love them dearly, but do you really want them ruling your love life too? Because, trust me, their taste hasn't improved much.
4. Stop insulting those you care about
When you start pissing in someone's ear about their ridiculous choice in partner, or belittling their relationship, the only thing you're really saying to them is "you are too retarded to make worthy decisions". You are directly insulting your friend or relation, their beloved and their ability to function. It is discourteous, and worse, disrespectful. If you don't like your mate's missus, then tell that to his missus. With him present. Sure, you're probably going to lose a friendship and a few teeth, but it is the only circumstance in which you can justify expressing your heart-felt protest without being a coward. Otherwise, swallow your bile and get back to being his mate.
Oh, and if your thinly veiled motivation to 'watch out for your friend' is actually based on your own wankful, sordid desires then you're either a Lurker or a Murker, in which case you need to be put down anyway.
My duties to those I love when it comes to their relationship choices are very clear: a) to be there for them if things go to hell, and b) to
The flip side
This sentiment goes both ways, of course. If you're in a relationship and you ask my advice as a true friend, only accept it on the grounds that it is only my advice. Also, I don't particularly give a shit who your partner is. Not deep down. Chances are the only reason they came into my life was because you've been fucking them on a regular, exclusive basis. Stay with them and work it out, or have a divorce/break up, it won't really matter to me either way. If you're talking to me it's because I'm your friend, not theirs. I'm only ever on their side if you're on their side too. That's how loyalty works - fighting for those you respect even when they fuck up. Especially when they fuck up.
And if you ask me straight out what I think of your partner then I will tell you that they seem okay, regardless of any opinion I may personally harbour. Yes, that's right, I will lie to you if it means supporting your choice, because I don't like to think that you're weak enough to need my permission to do anything in your life. Hell, it's not like I actually know what's-her/his-face anyway.
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