7 Things I fucking hate

I'm through giving love a chance, or making love instead of war, and I sure as hell know that love is not all you need.  Love is great sometimes, and can apply to almost any sense of infatuation, bonding or admiration.  But what about hate?  This emotion gets dissed all the time, like it isn't even an option in modern society.  Anger also gets swept aside, despite being one of the most useful and effective emotional responses you'll ever garner.

Well, I'm Kidd fucking Vengeance, the goddamned Sex Detective, and when I'm not ranting about sex stuff or solving fictional crimes against reality I'm not afraid to get my hate on.

Rude Attempts at Shutting Down Conversation
Like using the word "Whatever!" used solo as a response.  Learn some fucking manners, asshole.  Also "Care factor: zero," and "N(ot) M(y) P(roblem)".  If you really don't care what someone has to say then simply explain to them that you're not interetsed in pursuing the conversation instead of coming up with such a hilariously snappy retort.  Otherwise I may feel inclined to make you care, and if that occurs then you can bet your fucking ass that it will become your problem.

I had a Dream!
One sure fire way to check if I secretly want to fuck you is to see if I seem actively interested in listening about your dreams.  If I featured in your dream it's still no excuse because we both know that wasn't actually me.  As for sex dreams, definitely don't share.  You might as well tell me about your shitty homemade collection of porn.
Reality TV Shows
Particularly cooking and food-themed shit.  Gordon Ramsey bullying idiots or Jamie Oliver pretending not to have an intellectual disability, or a bunch of kids playing chef.  It's food, people, it's been around for a long time, but getting all hung up on how it looks is only one step away from man-scaping or bursting into tears because you used the wrong shampoo.  Another shit-fest are shows about losing weight, like people should be rewarded for not killing themselves through compulsive eating and ass-sitting.  And as for Big Brother, thank God that dinosaur finally died out.  It's vicarious narcissism at best and mundane schadenfreude at worst.  Instead of watching other people do things, trying getting out there and doing something yourself.

Assumed Bullshit
One of the goals in life is (or at least should be) to discover the truth behind common misconceptions.  This is vital for we, as a species, to make a healthier planet.  If you think solar panels are the answer to pollution then you don't understand that they cause toxic waste.  If you think magnets or crystals give you energy then you don't understand how physics and biology work.  And 'Magick' is just another word for 'ignorance'.  If you assume that people are either 'left brained' or 'right brained' then here's a little experiment for you: I crack your skull open, scoop out one hemisphere, and you then attempt an IQ test.

Kirk Cameron
I fucking hate this little cunt.  I hated him in Growing Pains or whatever shit-com spawned his career, and I super-hate him now.  When not making truly awful and culturally offensive Christian movies about the Rapture, Kirk's idea of prolonging his fame is to appear on tv talk shows and repeatedly impress the world with his divine ignorance of basic evolutionary biology.

Comparing Charles Darwin to Hitler?

Fuck you, Kirk.

The Karma Sutra
It should be renamed '101 Ways To Break Your Dick & Dislocate Your Lover'.

Shared Lunches at Work
"Hey, let's have a shared lunch on Friday - everyone bring a plate of your favourite cooking!"
No.  Just no, okay?  I mean, how do I know that home-made mayonnaise doesn't contain more than my allowable daily intake of goat semen? Or that your hubby didn't spend half of last night marinating his balls in that soup?  And what the Christing fuck is on that lasagne?  Seaweed?  Seriously?