1. Girls tend to have a lot of vaginal discharges. These discharges come in a horrifying variety of colours and smells.
2. Girls strongly believe that the best way to prevent pregnancy after sex is to douche themselves with a bottle of Coca-cola.
3. You can never pash a girl with braces because they insist on kissing with their teeth.
The damn thing still exists, both in print and online. It's still written for highschool girls, even though the writers obviously didn't get that far themselves. Case in point:
As you can see, this isn't a news article, it's a 'before' example for primary school literacy programs. ""It seems there will be one less lonely store in the world..." begins the lead paragraph (which manages to mention the word 'store' twice in the same sentence, by the fucking way). The above words make absolutely no sense. Yes, thanks to some briefly painful research, I realise it refers to some song he released, but it still makes absolutely no sense. Stores don't get lonely. Then there are two references to 'Beliebers', like that is a real thing.
Look, I'm Gen X, the generation that weaponsied cynicism and sarcasm. Like most of my contemporaries I hold a black-belt in irony. We are still the coolest generation, if for no other reason than the 'X' bit. I'm far too removed from Gen Z to see things like Justin Beiber as anything more than a singing cartoon. But thanks to the ethical need to investigate how phrases pertaining to 'lonely stores' originate I ended up watching this:
Anyone who knows anything about the '80s knows that we who lived our adolescence through it's music videos saw a lot of gay shit. I mean A LOT. But I never saw a teenage boy with Lego hair wearing shade-of-labia lipgloss while busking in a laundrette. And what is the musical plot here? Some sort of reverse stalking teasure-hunt where a kid holds the chick's scarf hostage until she tracks him down? The last thing we see is him wrapping it round her neck. Creepy.
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