The Gentle Art of Seduction

It's funny how words subtley change meaning over the years.  Try using the verb 'seduce' today without laughing or sounding especially creepy.  If I were to front up to a woman today and say "Hi, I want to seduce you," I might as well hand her a prescription for Rohypnol and a pre-signed restraining order.  But back in the '80s that same word was considered the classiest way of saying "Okay, babe, it's pashy-pokey time!"

The geniuses at Found Footage Festival sum it up best with this montage clip.



Yep, it's your guide to successful seduction, formerly titled 'Sweet!  She didn't Lay Charges!'  Included among the panel of badly staged street interviwees are:

The woman who sounds coy about doing something impossibly uncomfortable under a table.

This man describing his encounter with the one woman who finally prompted him to disclose his sexuality.

A senior gentleman called Farley who actually volunteers this information to women before asking them "what's happening in the local place."  What does that even mean, Farley?

Possibly a couple of disability outreach staff, one of whom is so sick of guys openly discussing her terrible complexion problems.  Seriously, what sort of guys are you dating, lady, if their opening line is about freckles?  Anyway, it's time for you to get Timmy back on the extra short bus.

A pair of amateur rapists describing the contents of their windowless van when the cops finally tracked them down in Detroit.







Finally we're treated to a re-enactment of successful seduction, while the voice over guy gently suggests a few place to stage date rape seductive techniques: in a car, a public place, in the woods.  In the fucking woods?  Anyway, after this couple meet up for dinner the guy inexplicably gets the nod from another diner and proceeds to rummage away in his woman in the middle of the restaurant.

But, sir, you haven't even had your entree!  Or perhaps you have ;)